Trait Example - Organization


Advanced/5:

 1

 2

 3

 4

 5

In my Father's Eyes

"Just let if flow," my father said as he handed me the reel. I clenched it tightly with my tiny fingers as if in fear of dropping it. The wooden handle was smooth and almost contoured to the shape of my dad's hands. He had fished with the pole when he was younger and you could tell just by looking at it that it was put to much use. He said it was a special pole and began telling one of his "when I was your age" stories, which I unintentionally paid no attention to because I was anxious to begin.

I watched as my father effortlessly tied the yellow grasshopper fly on my line in a series of complicated knots with his thick fingers. The air was fresh and cold and the mountain breeze teased his coal black hair and rustled a few whiskers in his beard. When he was finished he looked up at me and smiled warmly. "Give it a try," he said encouragingly.

I carefully tip-toed over the jagged boulders and dead tree limbs to the water's edge. It moved fast, so I scanned the area for a calm spot to cast my fly. The stream was narrow, so I had to be careful not to snag my line in the trees behind me, and it would be difficult not to over-estimate and cast clear over to the other side of the bank.

I positioned myself between two large rocks and took off my shoes. The mud was cold and squishy, but I liked the feeling. I gave my line some slack and began the motion. Back and forth, back and forth. I must have watched my father do it a thousand times, so soft and rhythmic, border-line perfection. The motion of his wrists always seemed to be one with the pole, personifying it into a beautiful work of art. I longed to have this feeling.



Acceptable/3:


 1

 2

 3

 4

 5

On being Yourself

Shakespeare once said, "To thine own self be true." This saying reflects the idea of being yourself and not changing who you really are.

In the play Macbeth, which was written by Shakespeare, the character Macbeth displayed how he changed over the course of the play. He started off an honest man who fought to protect the king, and was somewhat reserved and quiet. But as soon as the three witches told him their predictions for his future, he became greedy. He thought of nothing but becoming king, and would not let anything stand in his way.

Macbeth made the wrong choice. This choice led him down the path of greed, murders, lies, betrayal, and fear. he thought that he was on his way to the top of the world, when in reality he had no self-control whatsoever. His fantasies and wishes blinded him from what he was really doing.



Unacceptable/1:


 1

 2

 3

 4

 5

Change

Once upon a time there was a girl named Betty. She had a younger sister named Annette. They were a year apart. Betty was a Junior in high school and Annette was a sophomore in high school. They both lived with their parents in California. They were both very beautiful. Betty had very long pretty dark frown hair, and brown eyes, she was tall, but not to tall, she had medium brown skin, and Annette had light brown hair and light brown eyes, she was tall, to, but like an inch shorter than Betty. She had light colored skin. They both had their own friends and their own interests. Betty liked to rollerblade alot with her friends, her and her friends always made plans to go rollerblading that weekend or else to a movie or something.

Her best friend was Jane. Betty was into sports like basketball or volleyball or whatever she wanted to play, and she always made the team, she was very athletic. Annette and her friends like to shop and flirt with the guys. Annette usually got any guy she wanted, the guy she liked always asked her out and that would get her friends kind of jealous.


View the Explanation for this Trait

View the Rubric for this Trait

Go to the site Main Page